crossed between two worlds

Today my car failed. Same old news right? Actually yeah. Again I feel stuck. I'm sitting here, contemplating about the two worlds that I'm involved in. I know which one has a better outcome, bigger loss, and harder effort. College life and the hustler's life. I can't do both. I really can't. I'm sad that I can't. I want to experience everything everyone else is right now. I want to have fun, party, go clubbing, join a frat, be stupid, and other college shit. I know what it takes for me to rise above that. It's really hard. And like 99% of the world, I'm scared of failure. People are starting to have high expectations of me. Why? How? I didn't really do anything. Yeah I doubt them. I doubt me. As of this moment I feel lost. I feel incomplete. I feel like I'm losing my way. Everything is alot harder than I thought. Making professional videos are extremely difficult and strenuous. My creativity has been depleted.. I'm trying to recover from it too. Damn.. Peace