gone

Today I spent a good amount of time with the person from the last post. LAST JUNE! Ha. Damn. It's been awhile since I've written in this blog. I don't like to pour out. Now that I know that no one really reads this blog anymore I'll treat it more like a journal. Remember how I told you I was slowly slipping from the single life? Well I'm slowly slipping back. What sucks is that I felt I had so much connection with her. She's probably the longest person I've "date" or "talked" to. Geez. I'm sort of aching and I know it's okay. I know I did my best. I know that I have my flaws. I want to look at this situation as a learning period in my life but it kind of hurts too much to change my view. Right now my point of view is a cross between betrayal and uh whats a word for being left behind? Yeah that. It sucks ass. I just can't help to think about why? Is it me? Most likely. Partly hers too of course. And it sucks because everything is so unclear right now. I've never trusted someone so much and cared so much. AHAHA damn I sound like a sappy ass motha'. Yeah it's true though. I've never honestly felt like this. Yeah I've always gave relationship advices from a neutral view but when it's happening to you, DAMN. It hurts. It really does. Kinda low-key depressed right now. I'm in debt too. Past mistakes caught up to me. Remember when I had two phones and I thought I was the shit? Ahaha now I'm in SHIT. I guess there was a secret fee for canceling the account. Uh. One fucking year later you tell me. Fuckers! Gotta pay that shit off. Mmmm. And I really dislike expectations. Some people have asked me, "Aye aren't you supposed to be in NY already?" Uh apparently not.. Sorry if I'm a failure.. Hmm. Life goes on. What am I going to do with myself. If you reading this, give me a hug and say "I read your recent posts on your blogspot" K thanks, it'll honestly make me feel better.