this reminds me

Today I'm still posting up to make up for what I haven't written in the last 6 months. I spent my Halloween weekend over in LA. Damn, LA was dope. The people that I went with, not so dope. They were pretty annoying. It was okay though, because I got to see one of my closest friends and my big brother Mac. I miss that dude. Honestly, I wish he was still here so I could ask him for advices. Gosh, especially with everything that's happening to my life right now. Like bam bam motha fucker here's a bullet that'll split in five different parts but they're all kill shots. Halloween weekend was cool. Bought cool gears. Went clubbing. Yurps. I want to MOOOOVE OUT OF HERE! San Jo' I gotta give you much love but you're going to be the death of me. OUT is where I need to be. Aight aight fsho fsho.

recap

Today I'm going to try to make up for the 6 month hiatus on my posts. Lets start with Summer. Summer was pretty fun. I worked. I had a play date. I had fun. I partied. I met new people. I went to Philippines and Hong Kong. I've worked with Joe Nance and the crew. Yeah.. Cool story dude.

gone

Today I spent a good amount of time with the person from the last post. LAST JUNE! Ha. Damn. It's been awhile since I've written in this blog. I don't like to pour out. Now that I know that no one really reads this blog anymore I'll treat it more like a journal. Remember how I told you I was slowly slipping from the single life? Well I'm slowly slipping back. What sucks is that I felt I had so much connection with her. She's probably the longest person I've "date" or "talked" to. Geez. I'm sort of aching and I know it's okay. I know I did my best. I know that I have my flaws. I want to look at this situation as a learning period in my life but it kind of hurts too much to change my view. Right now my point of view is a cross between betrayal and uh whats a word for being left behind? Yeah that. It sucks ass. I just can't help to think about why? Is it me? Most likely. Partly hers too of course. And it sucks because everything is so unclear right now. I've never trusted someone so much and cared so much. AHAHA damn I sound like a sappy ass motha'. Yeah it's true though. I've never honestly felt like this. Yeah I've always gave relationship advices from a neutral view but when it's happening to you, DAMN. It hurts. It really does. Kinda low-key depressed right now. I'm in debt too. Past mistakes caught up to me. Remember when I had two phones and I thought I was the shit? Ahaha now I'm in SHIT. I guess there was a secret fee for canceling the account. Uh. One fucking year later you tell me. Fuckers! Gotta pay that shit off. Mmmm. And I really dislike expectations. Some people have asked me, "Aye aren't you supposed to be in NY already?" Uh apparently not.. Sorry if I'm a failure.. Hmm. Life goes on. What am I going to do with myself. If you reading this, give me a hug and say "I read your recent posts on your blogspot" K thanks, it'll honestly make me feel better.

ironic

Today I went iceskating. Deng so there's one thing to cross off the list things to do this summer that I made in the top of my head. I should've written this list down but oh well. I think it's funny now that I'm slowly slipping away from the single life that all these obstacles are in my way. More girls are hitting ME up now. Wtf? Where the hell were you when I was single.. I went out today with this girl I dated exactly a year ago. We have our moments once in awhile but today I didn't even felt like doing anything. My mind is different. It's funny too because I'm probably the only guy that can fool around with her even though she has a new man now. Um too much info? Well we just chillaxed. Oh and guess what, no more integra for me.. Yepp my 2WNY is gone, dead and gone. Ohhhh. I really need a car now. Geez. Life is turning out ridiculous. I'm slowly fading away from my depression. Thank goodness. I just feel like I should get the hell away from this slow zone. There's too much distractions and attractions alike here. Hmm.. K I'm gone for now. Late

fried

Today I woke up feeling fried. Life has been ehh lately. I've gotta pull myself together though because there's actually people that look up to me. To my understanding, I have no idea why.. But they're actually the ones that keep me going. I would of probably been gone already if it hadn't been for them. I can't let them down the most. If I fall all the way, they'll start falling too. I need to get back up and actually smile a real smile. Asap.

Two days ago I did something that turned me into a monster.. Sorry world.

mmmm happy days

Today I threw up. Yuck. Life is getting worse in the inside. Don't know how long Imma last wearing this smile :] From broken hand, to headaches, to food poisoning, to insomnia, to infection, to suicidal thoughts. Kay bye, I'm gonna go gamble.